Reasons To Be Grateful

Before I was diagnosed with POTS, I practiced meditation daily. Loving kindness, mindfulness and gratitude.

But when I met my partner {Tarron}, and I slowly started to be able to do less and less, he watched me slide from being a life loving woman, to one that was uninterested in struggling out of bed – until I couldn’t at all.

When I was admitted to hospital – he insisted I took a notebook with me.

Every morning he asked me to write down three things I was grateful for. Something that I suggested other people to do in the past, but not something that I had ever thought of doing myself. Especially in what I saw as a medical situation.

Every day afterwards he then asked me what I had written down and we had conversations about the things that I valued in life.

These conversations were like a candle in the dark.

Meditation has now returned to my life. But last week things had gotten dark for me again.

I had had a heavy period, my pain flared a depression, my depression flared my pain, and I had a flipping ESA assessment.

These assessments quickly peel off any vail of defence I have, as I honestly answer questions about my abilities (or lack of), and realise just how dramatically my life has changed.

Tarron and I returned home after the assessment, tired and emotional; And when I got out of bed the next day I felt completely deflated.

I came downstairs, and got myself some breakfast at nearly lunch time, when there was a ring at the door.

It was our neighbour; Who had locked themselves out of their house. I let go of my pride, let them in, and stopped focusing on myself!

We ended up chatting for a couple of hours and I helped sort out their plans for the rest of the day – until their son was able to return home and let them back in.

The next day our neighbour came back, with thank you flowers for me, some spare keys and the unignorable message that I can still make myself available serve others.

I am not useless. I still have things to be grateful for. And I should start giving more attention to the things I DO have. And the things I CAN do.

What are you grateful for?

Could you start your own gratitude diary, or find a way to take your focus off yourself and look at what you can do for others – however small?

 

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