by Becky, Sober Female:
I realized that I have spent most of my life trying to be this person, who I may not be at all.
I tried bending myself into a pretzel to do the right things – in hopes we would be friends, or you would approve of me, or any number of reasons.
Recently, I have put down that people pleasing behavior and started owning who I am.
I will not apologize for being me, authentically wonderful, God loving, generous, kind, and sometimes very persistent. If people think I am too much that’s okay. My beat will still drum on and I will be okay.
If people shock me, by their reactions – I do not have to take it in and let it make me feel bad about myself – I can let it go, and remember it has nothing to do with me.
I used to stamp myself with a label in my mind: “no good”.
There you go again upsetting someone. You are too much. What they say is the truth.
I would speak negatively to myself daily because of other peoples reactions. Now I see that negative self talk as what it is. A lack of self worth.
The true honest to goodness me knows my worth and value is found in God, not others peoples’ opinions. However, living with other humans and coexisting daily with many different interactions can be very hard for sensitive soul.
I want to be liked, I want to be understood. I do not want people to say mean things that hurt my heart, but that isn’t life.
So I process my interactions differently now. I pause and only absorb what I need to. I travel lighter and am reminded we are all learning life lessons daily. But not at the same time!
“When I started to realize I lived my entire life to please everyone around me, I woke up knowing I knew nothing about myself. That is the day I took control or my own thoughts, opinions and dreams. True self, live for you.”
Becky aka. Sober Female is a sober mother, and wife, trying to find balance amist the chaos of raising two beautiful daughters – while having a very loud mind. And keeping them all grounded at the same time. Becky has a passion for photography, cooking, blogging, surfing, traveling, boating, eating, playing, yoga, animals, the mountains, the beach, my family and friends, positive people, recovery, helping others, but most of all for being “real”. Check her out at soberfemale.com.